Refrigerator Me

my body is a refrigerator

and my head is the freezer

you can open me up

and peer inside

my head is filled with frozen thoughts

frozen dreams

you can see the coldness of my heart

and the magnets of happiness on my exterior

with cold feet

can you tell I'm afraid to move on?

can you see passed the Popsicles and produce?

can you still see me?

august 6th, 2008

sinking 

            falling 

                         plunging

can't hold on with cold clammy hands

can't stand up with tingling legs

choking?

suffocating in this actuality that i cant believe

this reality that i cant shake, one that i hate

I've been left stunned and senseless

claustrophobic

killing me softly

with memories and still frames

and dreams of what shoulda been

without you

and i HAVE to cry

all the time these days, but wont

push the tears back hard

held it together for them

their backs are turned

the girl is finally crumbling

May 22, 2010

it's 3 am

and once again

a girl cant sleep

i look it up,

and i blink

as slowly i begin to weep

i been drug back again

washed over with this

pain that i didnt think would keep

and it hits

just like a brick

as my insides churn

as my thoughts burn

heart dropped 

heart sick

mouth dry

tongue thick

this must be what its like

when hope dies

i know my eyes should be closed

but as it turns out, the brain just goes and goes

pencil to paper

it flows and flows

things that keep me up,

and surely only god knows